Two Songs that explains TL today…

Today has been a day that just is to hard to explain.  You know when people know you aren’t yourself and they keep asking you “are you ok?”?  But you lie and tell them nothing but in reality there is something wrong?  You just don’t know what?  That’s how I am feeling today.  But after depressing around and watching “GLEE’s – Original Song” episode, it somewhat came to me on how I can feel to people through two songs.

The first song would be setting the atmosphere on where I would be and that is “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay” by Michael Bolton.  Yeah I know but I have to be honest.  But it’s not really a bay though that I’m looking out over.  It’s more like a ocean.  But somewhere out in this massive area is like a “needle in a hay stack”, which I like to call my problem.  All I know is I’m sitting on this dock looking out into this massive space knowing that my problem is out there but just don’t know where.  So, I feel like I’m just going through the motion everyday.  So, as you can tell from the lyrics it fits me perfectly as what’s going on in my head.

Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
'Cause I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothin's gonna come my way

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

The sad part is whenever I have a problem, this is how it feels like sitting on the dock of the back wasting time.  It’s the same place over and over.  But something happened tonight as I was watching “GLEE”.  They did an original song called “Get it Right”.  When I get in these moods where I’m searching for my problem I tend to watch shows either about music or I watch music type shows like in this case “GLEE”.  I’m glad I picked this “GLEE” episode but as I was sitting on that dock of the bay tonight, the song they sang at the end called “Get It Right” brought several good questions about me that makes me think about “what’s wrong with me” or guide me in the right direction at least.  Here are the lyrics for “Get It Right”.

What have I done? I wish I could
Away from this ship goin’ under
Just tryin’ to help, hurt everyone
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
‘Cause I can’t go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I’ll get through this

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair
Yeah, I’ll send out a wish
Yeah, I’ll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Now this songs almost fits me to a “T”.  Every time I’m like this, I try to ask myself questions to figure out my problems or why I’m depressed or something.  The very first question is a good one that I never have asked myself.  “What have I done?” can’t be any more direct than that.  What have I done to be in this certain situation (i.e. sitting on the dock of the bay)?  I have been playing this song over and over trying to figure that out.  I honestly can’t tell you how much this song speaks to me.  In the above lyrics, everything in red is what I would be asking myself in another post that will be coming in a few days after I sit down and think about those questions.  Maybe some self reflection will help me figure out myself?  Maybe it’s something I need to do to see exactly who and what is wrong with me?

How many times have you all done what’s in green?  You know throw your fist up in the air acting like you are punching it and then saying that’s life basically?  Even though you know it’s not fair or anything but you accept it?  I know I have several times.  But no more.  It’s time to start thinking about change.  If you want to listen to the song, click here for “Get It Right” video.  Enjoy!

TL