Monday, January 26, 2009

Mentally and Emotionally Drained...

Today, I had a phone screening with Hobsons in downtown Cincinnati. The lady is sending my information on to the hiring manager and if he feels like I warrant further consideration, he will interview me face to face. But I won't know one way or another for a week. Hope things work out and I hear back very soon.

Then after the phone interview, I had breakfast and finished up the third installment of the Twilight Series before heading off to the Welcome House. At the welcome house, I ended up staying there until around 4 pm. 4 hours only to be chastised by the case manager. I never felt so uneasy after leaving any place before. This was horrible but as I seat here and reflect, am I in denial of things? The questions she asked was fair questions but I answered them as truly as I can. But to consider my answers as "playing" her or trying to "lie" to her is pretty low. I answered all her questions to the best of my ability. I had no clue what she was looking for but after leaving there, my stomach was in knots and upset. Almost like I wanted to throw up. But as I'm thinking back, do I need to reconsider some of the things I'm doing? Do I need to dig deeper inside me to figure out what's wrong with me? Why am I so mentally and emotionally drained right now? I was only with the case manager for like 30 minutes. I seem to be unable to describe how I feel right now in this post. It seemed to me that the case manager thinks that being homeless, living out of my car, no job, and no money makes a person have depression? All I can think about since I left the Welcome House is that meeting and it's killing me. Why is it killing me? I just...I just don't...don't know what to really think. Is it denial? Am I denying myself something? I'm just confused, mentally, and emotionally drained! And it's all because of this meeting at the Welcome House!

This next few days is mainly going to keep me in Covington it seems until this weekend. Looks like I'm going to the job club on both Tuesday and Friday at 1 pm. All I wanted from the Welcome House was a referral to the Job Club. At least I got that but was it worth it now? Then on Thursday, I have my appointment for food stamps. So, it looks like for me to save gas, I'm going to stay around in that area for this week. Then be back over here this weekend. Nowadays, since I really don't have money, I need to start being wise on saving gas and etc.

Another thing that's going to be coming up soon, is my upcoming blog post regarding "Twilight". I just got the 4th installment of the series "Breaking Dawn". After I'm done listening to it, I'm going to do a blog post about it. Don't want to miss that! *lol* Anyway, thank you all for staying with me till the end of this post. Talk to you soon!

-TL