Monday, April 23, 2012
During this week, I will be posting weekly series on the changes that I’m going to be doing over the next few years and this blog is where you can find it. The bottom line is this. I will be 38 years old but currently acting like I’m still in college when I’m not. It’s time for me to grow up and mature into the person I know I can be. It will take a lot of hard work, honesty, determination, truth, my friends help, and faith! And eventually that change will come.
In the process of moving, I was able to find the Android app for Blogger but it might be a little to late though. I'm in the process of consolidating my internet persona. But until I totally move I have a way to update my blog for now. The reason for not being able to update my blog that often is that I currently don't have internet connection at home. I just have my phone.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
How appropriate is this song I’m listening to while writing this post? It’s “Mr. Know It All” from Kelly Clarkson. When most people are out and about having fun, I feel comfortable being inside my place. Which is sad because then my mind start doing a lot of thinking about things that I know if I just get out of my comfort zone, I would be happy but I have nobody that’s willing to do things with me. Don’t get me wrong, I do get out and about a lot but at the end of the day, I’m right back here in my apartment. This post isn’t going the way I want it to go like it’s going in my mind. This weekend, I did some thinking about an unusual topic…DEATH!!! And no it doesn’t involve me committing suicide or anything! Everybody know when death comes for me, I’m ready to die. I knew this since I was 17 years old. But this weekend I got thinking that whenever I die, I won’t have a child to carry on my name like my two brothers have their own kids. I know that I have a few decades in front of me but I just can’t help but think about this. It’s not that I don’t know I have a problem because I do. Things like this leads me to start thinking how I don’t know how to approach women that I might be interested in. That’s why I’m always lonely. Every day that goes by I can’t tell you how many women I see that I would like to get to know more. So, when I do try to approach them I chicken out or I will just admire from a far. Hoping that they would make the first move or they would notice me. This is where I wish I had some kind of mentor or something that would help me get over this fear of rejection that I have inside me. I hate that word “no”!!!! It’s just not easy for me when it comes to things like this. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m tired of people telling me I should do this or that not because I know they are right but my problem stems deeper than that. WOW…this post went far away what’s on my mind. Bottom line is that I know that I have a problem and/or that most people or friends I talk to that makes judgments about me are correct but it’s easier to talk the talk than to walk the walk. That is my problem. I can do the talk but not the walk. I need guidance.
Monday, December 5, 2011
No, this isn’t a post about REO Speedwagon’s song “Can’t Fight This Feeling”. Ever had a feeling inside you that you just can’t explain or don’t know how to fight it? That’s what I’m having right now. Is it a feeling of guilt? Maybe that I could had done more for one of my families and that I let them down somehow? Or are these feelings more about me? How I always seem to start something but unable to finish it? It’s like I lose focus on the bigger picture of things or maybe that the picture is to big? Whatever this feeling I have inside me, it’s not good for me to have. All I know is that I’m tired of having these feelings. They aren’t healthy for me. All I think about when I come home is how I can help these people more or how I can improve myself. I really don’t have anybody to come home to talk to about it. All I have is this post but even then I sometime feel nobody is reading these posts. But I do know something? I’m sexy and I know it!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Today, was somewhat a rough day on me. As many know I’m the LISC AmeriCorps Housing Support Specialist where I don’t just help with the low income families/individuals but also the homeless. It is something that is very close to my heart due to the fact that I want time I was homeless myself. I’m in a position to give back but it’s very hard when the person I’m trying to help isn’t really willing to work at it to get out of homelessness. Nothing is given for free without some sort of work on the person part. There isn’t an easy fix to anything. For example, the government throws money at homelessness thinking that will take care of it only it doesn’t. Various agencies around the US put some limitation on their services to homelessness which is evident from outreach specialist that I follow on twitter and other social media.
I don’t claim to have all the answers but I could very well be a valuable tool with my experience at one time being homeless. There are a lot of changes that are needed to fix homelessness across the US. I think it starts with the actual people themselves that are homeless. The government and agencies really need to understand the problem before they can fix the problem. To be able to understand the problem they need to talk to the homeless and they will have a better understanding on homelessness. Everyday, I’m exposed to homeless individuals and families that I just wish I could help more than I already can but I know I can’t because these individuals and families have to want these changes. I’m always reminding myself that talking about my experience is a lot easier than when I was actually homeless.
As of right now, I have a potential of four families/individuals on my work plate that I can see in their eyes the determination that dig their self out of homelessness. We started the process as I have them referred to various programs and etc. I just hope they understand that I’m their for them if they need something. This is what I’m great out is helping others and one of the reason I love what I’m doing.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Did you all missed me? Well, I’m not totally back on the internet but just have enough signal from somebody around me that is allowing me to type up blog. A lot has happened since my last blog attempt. As you notice, blogging from my cell phone really didn’t work out the way I thought it would. So, I decided not to use my cell phone but will definitely try again soon. Trying to find some good apps for my Smartphone that will allow me better control of my blogging. I’m still struggling in life but that’s expected. One of my struggles is my financial situation. Seems like that’s just getting worse and worse. I was hoping to have my internet back by now but things aren’t working out. I’m hoping to have it back after the New Year. Did I really just say that? Is the new year about to be upon us? Man, does time fly? As soon has I have more time and a better internet connection, I will blog a better update on me. For the time being, if any of my friends need anything, please e-mail me, text me, call me (for the ones that know where to find my number on the internet), or throw up the bat signal. Until then, this post is to let friends and family know I’m still here and will always be here somehow.