Thawing out finally...

Looks like things are finally starting to thaw out here after the Midwest was blanketed with snow and ice for the last three days. Thanks to Chris and his family, I was able to sleep inside a house for two of the three days. The bad weather did bring a damper to things as I had several appointments this week but due to the weather majority were cancelled. But did manage to have my appointment to apply for food stamps. Just had two forms that needed to be filled out by other people. Was able to get one filled out that day and returned back to the office on the same day. The other form, I had to have CBS fill out which I dropped off on Friday to them. They (CBS) said it takes up to 72 hours. And then once the food stamp people get that back, it will take them three to five days to process my case. So, I'm probably looking at like 10 to 14 days from this post before I'll receive any food stamps. As soon as I know how much I get and etc, I'll let you all know.

But until then, things are continue to spiral downhill for me in my life. Just barely holding on surviving but for how much longer? This upcoming week, I'm not really looking forward to see unless a miracle happens and I win the lottery or something. 1) My bank account will be overdrawn as of Thursday (Feb 5th). Each day it's overdrawn, I get charged $6 on top of that. Well, without a job, that might be a while. 2) As of Monday, I'll be foodless basically until I get my food stamps either later that week or the early the following week. So, I'm working on a plan to get me some food for the week. 3) Getting close to running out of gas for the car. With no job comes even a greater chance of having no money! *lol* Not to mention, looks like Chase is going to start hounding me about my car payment as well. So, who knows how long it will be until I have no car? Thinking of the car? I'm wondering if my homeless verficiation letter I received from Recovery Network would work with JD ByRider to get a cheaper car? They say they want me to stay a month at a physical address. Something I have to think about soon maybe?

Anyway, back to my life I go to try and fix things to make it better.

Ciao TL

Mentally and Emotionally Drained...

Today, I had a phone screening with Hobsons in downtown Cincinnati. The lady is sending my information on to the hiring manager and if he feels like I warrant further consideration, he will interview me face to face. But I won't know one way or another for a week. Hope things work out and I hear back very soon.

Then after the phone interview, I had breakfast and finished up the third installment of the Twilight Series before heading off to the Welcome House. At the welcome house, I ended up staying there until around 4 pm. 4 hours only to be chastised by the case manager. I never felt so uneasy after leaving any place before. This was horrible but as I seat here and reflect, am I in denial of things? The questions she asked was fair questions but I answered them as truly as I can. But to consider my answers as "playing" her or trying to "lie" to her is pretty low. I answered all her questions to the best of my ability. I had no clue what she was looking for but after leaving there, my stomach was in knots and upset. Almost like I wanted to throw up. But as I'm thinking back, do I need to reconsider some of the things I'm doing? Do I need to dig deeper inside me to figure out what's wrong with me? Why am I so mentally and emotionally drained right now? I was only with the case manager for like 30 minutes. I seem to be unable to describe how I feel right now in this post. It seemed to me that the case manager thinks that being homeless, living out of my car, no job, and no money makes a person have depression? All I can think about since I left the Welcome House is that meeting and it's killing me. Why is it killing me? I just...I just don't...don't know what to really think. Is it denial? Am I denying myself something? I'm just confused, mentally, and emotionally drained! And it's all because of this meeting at the Welcome House!

This next few days is mainly going to keep me in Covington it seems until this weekend. Looks like I'm going to the job club on both Tuesday and Friday at 1 pm. All I wanted from the Welcome House was a referral to the Job Club. At least I got that but was it worth it now? Then on Thursday, I have my appointment for food stamps. So, it looks like for me to save gas, I'm going to stay around in that area for this week. Then be back over here this weekend. Nowadays, since I really don't have money, I need to start being wise on saving gas and etc.

Another thing that's going to be coming up soon, is my upcoming blog post regarding "Twilight". I just got the 4th installment of the series "Breaking Dawn". After I'm done listening to it, I'm going to do a blog post about it. Don't want to miss that! *lol* Anyway, thank you all for staying with me till the end of this post. Talk to you soon!

-TL

Down in the dumps...

Today isn't one of my best days it seems as my mood is down. Seems to me I'm playing with fire when it comes to certain things and it's going to be backfiring soon. In the past when I start down a path it comes very hard for me to pull myself off the path. My path seems to be like two trains that are about to collide and it seems I can't do anything about it. Which I'm not sure is true that I can't do anything about. Hopefully after Monday things will look better but I have to get to Monday as I'm very low on gas. Will I have enough gas to get to my appointments? Then what am I going to do after that? Where is my money going to come from to pay for gas, my cash advances, my bank for the early access money, my insurance, doctors appointment that's coming up in February, for food, and etc. The good news is I do have a phone interview in the morning. Maybe this will get the job I want. The food money help is on the way as soon as I can get into the food stamp office to get food stamps. Things do have to get better right? I hope so!

- TL

Fantasy TL vs Reality TL...

Like the title says, not much going on today really. I had a counseling session today at 11 am. Which made me spent the last of my money. Now I'm totally out of money until I either find a job or I get lucky and win the lottery, or somebody gives me money, or my taxes come in.

I just got back from my friend's Chris's house after visiting him for a while. Where the true fun really came. He has a Xbox 360 and one of the games that he has is NBA 2K. My friend loves creating players and creating his own team in franchise mode. So, he already made himself as a player. He is the center for the Chicago Bulls. He is 7'6", 310 lbs, with mad skills. So, he decided he wanted to make me a player on the team as well. So, we created me to be on his team. I was going to be point guard that would be a lock down defender and great offensive minded player. So, at first we decided that we would create me being 4'6", 95 lbs player with mad skills. Well, we had a great laugh when we saw me play in the game. The best comparsion I can tell you how I looked vs the other players on the floor was funny. I was litterally a golf pencil size player as everybody else was a regular pencil size players on the game. It was funny. Then, we re-adjusted my height to be 6'9" point guard. Well, after playing a few games, he decided to simulate the season to see how we did. Well, my player led us to the NBA title leaving behind a mark that probably would never be achieved in basketball history. For the season, I average a triple double while my friend average a double double over the whole season. Not only that, I won the leave MVP, was top Defensive Player in the league, First team All Star player. Not to mention I was the Final MVP as well. And I did this all in my first year in the league. It was sic! And I wasn't a ball hog or anything either. I scored nearly 1400 points for the seaon, had 825 assists, and like 200 or so turnovers in the game. I was a swell individual team player!

But what really got me thinking is the comparsion of my fantasy self vs my reality self. It seems like whenever me or my friend Chris created me that my fantasy self like totally opposite of my reality self. So, if you created a fantasy self, how would your fantasy self differs from the real you?

- TL

News about TL...

As you all know from my profile and my post about "Who is TL?", I'm currently been working on getting a job and to stop living out of my car. The reason for the day and half absence that occurred was mainly because I had some appointments that I had to attend too. So, this is what happened the last few days.

Tuesday - 1/20/2009 - After 11:30 am

After my first post about the Inauguration, I was hoping I would be able to catch the speech live but I couldn't mainly because I had an appointment with Kay, who is the Housing Coordinator for Catholic Charities at 1:00 pm. I tried to see if I was able to catch President Obama's speech but I couldn't by the time I had to start heading over to Catholic Charities. About the time I got to Catholic Charites, the speech was over. Which was a bummer, but good thing for the internet though. Anywho, my appointment with Kay was very insightful as I learn of new resources that might help me like the Welcome House, Recovery Network, and the Vocational Rehab. I meet with Kay for a little over an hour as we worked on some goals for me to get me into some kind of housing. Goals like getting certain documents together that I will need to track down from my personal stuff, applying for food stamps, applying for section 8 housing, and etc. Armed with these new resources, I formed a plan of attack for myself for the next day.

After I was done with Kay at Catholic Charities, I decided to go and see some old friends in Delhi, OH that I haven't seen in a very long time. Cathy and Richard helped me out several years ago and I thought I would just drop in and see how their were doing and catch up with them. This last week, I have been taking a stroll down memory lane as I started connected with some of my very old friends from when I started college in 1995. Just wanted to see how they are doing and everything. So, it was nice to catch up with Cathy and Richard. I got to their place around 3:00 pm and stayed until around 6:30 pm.

Anyway, after I left, my intention was to come out to the library here and do a few posts regarding the Inauguration and my visit but as I was drving, I noticed that I was falling asleep and couldn't stay awake. So, I made it to Turfway and parked in a parking lot to take a few hours of sleep. This was around 7 pm. The next thing I know it was midnight, then it was 5 am, and then 9 am. 14 hours of sleep was the best I got in a while.

Wednesday - 1/21/2009

So, after my 14 hours of sleep, I had to run some errands in the morning before I head down to Recovery Network in Covington. These errands took me about two hours before I finally started heading to Recovery Network.

At Recovery Network I met Andrea, which she gave me a lot of resources that will help me out big times. One of my recent problems I have been having is when I go and apply somewhere, I couldn't use my PO Box because it wasn't a street address. So, Recovery Network gave me a homeless verification letter which allows me to use their address. This is huge because this was one of the things that Kay from Catholic Charities said I would need to get. This will allow me to sign up for things. While there, I got a referral for the Welcome House where I have to go in on Monday to see what they also can do for me. The Welcome House has a Job Club that if I qualify for would benefit me hugely because they will help with computer certifications and etc. Also, they will help me with Vocational Rehab. So, this will be great for me.

After I left Recovery Network armed with my homeless verification letter, I went to apply for food stamps down in Covington. When I got there around 3:30 pm, there was 30 people there still waiting. Then as I went to one of the waiting windows, I ran into Charles. Charles was also another one of my friends from when I started college as well. Seeing him brought back some more memories from that time as we talked about the old days. He also recommended that it's pretty much guarnteed I wouldn't been seen that day that it would probably be best to sign up for an appointment and have it mailed to me. So, that's what I decided to do. I filled out all the paperwork that is required and then in five to seven days they will send me my appointment time. So, that's all I'm waiting on for now for me to get food stamps. Getting food stamps would be a huge deal for me as I don't have to use money money on food. So, I can continue eating out of my car rather than spending money on fast food resturants. Can't wait!

After leaving the food stamps office, I went over to my best friend's place to visit him and his family. I got there around 4 pm and ended up staying there watching "Lie to me" on Fox and the 2nd half of the UK Basketball game. Then I left around midnight. As I was living though, I got a scare because my "check engine" light came on and I decided to rather than come back to Burlington, I would stay over in that area to go to AutoZone to get my car tested. So, I stayed at the Kroger's parking lot sleeping. But when I woke up to head to AutoZone, the check engine light didn't come on.

So, I came to the library and now you all are caught up!

- TL

Inauguration Day - Part II...

For the people that didn't get to see the speech or want to re-read the speech, here it is in its entire. I must say that the best thing I like about President Obama is that he is a great speaker. I will give him that. I wish him the best of luck for the next eight years as he is in this position and I hope he gets the things he promised done. What do you all think about the speech? What was your best part of the speech? For me, I like it when he warned the other countries that they need to look within their own country to blame than to blame us for their problems. For years, we have been the "World Police" and when we come and help, they are grateful but the minutes we take care of it, they turn around and basically kick us out blaming us for some of their problems. So, it's a welcome sign to see a President to actually give a warning.

THE SPEECH:

Inaugural Address
By President Barack Hussein Obama

My fellow citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you've bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors.

I thank President Bush for his service to our nation -- (applause) -- as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we, the people, have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears and true to our founding documents.

So it has been; so it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered.

Our health care is too costly, our schools fail too many -- and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our land; a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this America: They will be met. (Applause.)

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord. On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our politics. We remain a young nation. But in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things.

The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness. (Applause.)

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted, for those that prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life. For us, they toiled in sweatshops, and settled the West, endured the lash of the whip, and plowed the hard earth. For us, they fought and died in places like Concord and Gettysburg, Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions, greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week, or last month, or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America. (Applause.)

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of our economy calls for action, bold and swift. And we will act, not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We'll restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this country has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage. What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply.

The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works -- whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account, to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day, because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched. But this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control. The nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity, on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart -- not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good. (Applause.)

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers -- (applause) -- our Founding Fathers, faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man -- a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience sake. (Applause.)

And so, to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born, know that America is a friend of each nation, and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity. And we are ready to lead once more. (Applause.)

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with the sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort, even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we'll work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet.

We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense. And for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken -- you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you. (Applause.)

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. (Applause.)

To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist. (Applause.)

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders, nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the role that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who at this very hour patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.

We honor them not only because they are the guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service -- a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves.

And yet at this moment, a moment that will define a generation, it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all. For as much as government can do, and must do, it is
ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends -- honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old.

These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded, then, is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition on the part of every American that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world; duties that we do not grudgingly accept, but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship. This is the source of our confidence -- the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny. This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed, why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall; and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served in a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath. (Applause.)

So let us mark this day with remembrance of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At the moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words to be read to the people: "Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America: In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America. (Applause.)

- TL

Who is TL Jackson???

Some of you all are wondering probably, Who is this person? Well, so am I! This is what I can tell you. As you can tell from this lovely photo of me, I'm a 34 year old single guy from Kentucky. I'm 5'4" with hazel eyes, and a shaved head. I am a technologic diabetic. I graduated from Northern Kentucky University (NKU) in 2002 with my Bachelor degree in Organizational Studies (BOS), and then again in 2006 with my Masters of Science in Technology (MST). Over the years, I thought I have been going in a direction that I thought was right for me but in April 2008, I found out that I was wrong. Since April '08, a lot of things have happened to me that have caused me to be in my current situation which is living out of my car and jobless. As I'm currently looking for a job, if you might know of a job lead for me, please e-mail me. But back to my situation. In April '08, I was admitted to the hospital with a cellulitis infection in my stomach. I stayed in the hospital for a week. While in the hospital, my roommate and his gf took off with $500 that he owed me in rent. Also, I ended up losing the place. Plus, while there, I was diagnosed with diabeties. So, my life has changed in a dramatic way. It's been since April that I thought about blogging as a way to keep myself sane. I like letting people know what's going on with me. That's what this blog is going to be about mostly. Did I mention that I was single also? Anyway, if you have any comments, suggestions, and etc, please feel free to e-mail me or whatever to me.

Inauguration Day - Part I...

Wondering what's on TL's mind today? Probably the same thing as all these people in the photo that is in Washington, DC getting ready to witness history in the making. But, yet, to me it's just another day in the life of TL. All I have been hearing is nothing but inauguration stuff. When do people say enough is enough? Yes, I understand the historic part of this day with Obama being the first African-American President but from this day until the end of his terms, one thing is going to be the same. He is going to be like all the other Presidents but hopefully better. No matter what color his skin is he is still the President of the United States! He is going to do the same things other Presidents do in past. So, throughout the day, I'm going to possibly try and post updates about this day with the next update probably being after the ceremony and the inauguration. But who right now is excited that this day finally have came? Who really cares? Everybody has their opinion. So, let me hear them!

-TL

This blog...

Well, looks who is going to try and blog? That's right folks, yours truly is going to start blogging. This action has been in the works for several months now and I just now decided I will go for it. A shoutout goes to my best friend Chris for coming up with this awesome blog title "TL's Random Thoughts, Meaningless Lies & Yada Yada". Basically, he captured what I'm basically going to be blogging about. Depending on my mood on a certain day, you all could be in a real treat. Day to day something is going on with me. And you all be the first to hear about it here!

So, this is how this is going to work. I'm going to admit now that I'm not the best writer in the world but will try my best to keep the spelling, grammar, and etc to very little. One thing I do love is conversation or comments. If you find a blog of interest , please feel free to say so or if you disagree with something, then feel free to disagree and then back it up. Don't just say, "I disagree" and leave it like that. If you can't back it up or anything, then don't comment. That simple. If you all have questions, please feel free to ask them. There are no stupid questions in my book. Only the ones that aren't asked!

Over the next week or so, there will be a lot of changing and customizing my blog as I get used to this new concept of blogging. So please, be patient with me as I learn this system and figure out things to blog about. So, for now, peace and God bless you all!

-TL